After the class was completed and Marilyn was coping day-to-day, however, she realized she needed reinforcement of what she had learned. The STAR-C Caregiver program at Amazing Place that provides caregivers with customized support, recommendations, resources and encouragement through a series of both home visits and phone sessions by trained consultants, was exactly what Marilyn needed.

Following an in-depth in-home assessment, Marilyn and the consultants jointly developed a personalized family plan to help her better respond to Stephon’s behavioral patterns and provide her with the support she needed as a caregiver. An Amazing Place consultant came to the house weekly for six weeks to see how the couple was progressing and give Marilyn the confidence she needed to cope with needed changes in their lifestyle since Stephon’s diagnosis. Additional follow-up calls are part of the program and Amazing Place consultants are always a phone call away.

Lessons reinforced for Marilyn from the STAR-C Caregiver Program include:

1. Learn to Take the Initiative.

Take the initiative and give a loved one options on what they’d prefer to see, hear or do.  Asking open-ended questions isn’t as helpful as very directed questions.

2. Don’t Be Afraid to Make the Final Decision.

The dynamic of decision making with someone in cognitive decline changes.  So, don’t be afraid to make a final decision on needed actions, and be confident in that decision.

3. Change Your Language and Don’t Argue.

Instead of saying “Don’t you remember?” which often causes frustration, change topics or talk about memories the two of you have shared. Changing some of your language can have a big impact on outcomes.

4. Delegate to Family and Friends.

Let family members and friends help you, especially if they’ve offered. Find roles that they are comfortable with—everything from cooking a meal, to staying with your loved one for a bit, to simply listening to you and allowing you to share what’s on your mind.  All of these things will help you not feel so alone.

Marilyn is thankful for the Savvy Caregiver program and the STAR-C Caregiver experience as she continues to implement her family plan with patience and adaptability.  As she says, “I want to be comfortable with how I handle everything with dignity, and this program has helped provide me with calmness and peace. At the end of the day, I ask myself how would I want to be treated if it were me?”